Lost and Found

The last blog I wrote, My Unforeseen Journey, gave me an opportunity to collect my scattered thoughts and emotions from a breast cancer diagnosis at the age of 34. I was thrown a serious life game changer, and it has taken years to transform to a new normal. I had an incredible support system, yet I was hurting so bad...and I was numb to the pain.

There are many cancer survivors out there, and many surviors in general whose emotions may have suffered from tramautic life events. How do we heal? How do we find peace again? Why can't we just pick up where we left off? Why can't we talk about it? And...why is it so hard to put into words what we are feeling? So many questions along with a rush of thoughts come to mind, and part of my healing started when I read stories of other cancer survivors who shared the same struggles. I was not alone nor was I losing my mind!

You see, after my physical healing was underway, I did not realize the mental healing that needed to take place. Once I transitioned into survivorship, I was lost. I didn't realize how lost I was because I was so numb to my feelings and emotions. I had been diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety when I found the courage to seek help. The Flatwater Foundation (http://www.flatwaterfoundation.org/) offered me a means to heal my body, mind, and soul. The healing process helped me discover who I was before breast cancer, it reminded me of who I was during the journey of fighting the darn disease, and in the end, healing brought peace to my shattered soul. I began to transform into my new normal.

So, why start writing again? Well...I hope to share the journey of healing. Of course there are many celebrations, but I still face hardship too. However, I have a better handle on the health setbacks along with any challenges that come my way. If you are reading this...no matter what your story is...please know your healing will come! It may take time, but happy healing awaits! A new found purpose, transformation, bliss, and peace await you...it awaits all of us. 

Years later, my mind is more clear and my values. . . changed. Happiness and simplicity are the two words that come to mind. To me it also means living life the Costa Rican way. . . pura vida (pure life). In addition, I learned a great deal about self-care, self-compassion, acceptance, meditation, and mindfulness.  I embrace and practice both as a way of life. I am Catholic, so I know and value the importance of church, but there are occassions when my God knows he can sometimes reach me best when I'm on the water, on the beach, on a SUP, or out running. Sometimes it's just sitting in silence...

As I move forward in life, I do so by paying it forward for other cancer survivors. This past summer on July 11th, 2016, I particpated in Tyler's Dam That Cancer. About 150 Flatwater supporters paddled 21 miles to bring awareness and raise funds for the foundation. It was a life changing event and an honor. In September 2017, I will embark on a new adventure with The Flatwater Foundation. We will circumnavigate 71 miles around Lake Tahoe-epic, huh?! Check out my link to learn more!

https://www.crowdrise.com/fundraiser/edit/the-flatwater-challenge-lake-tahoe/clarissaalvarado

Once again, how I got here has taken time, and it's an ongoing journey. The more I learned about The Flatwater Foundation and their mission, the more I knew there was a special connection for me. Funny how getting on a SUP board helped me navigate some of these unchartered waters and rediscover my lost soul. The water is healing and it brings healing. It fuels my soul on so many levels.

I grew up in Ingleside, Texas, a small town in the Coastal Bend area. I was never a small town girl, but rather a city girl at heart. However, I don't forget the value of home. As a young girl I loved Wonder Woman, flamingos, watermelon, Tang, playing outside, music, and the beach. I was an outdoors kinda gal, and I still am, but don't get me wrong, I hate bugs and snakes! My childhood exposed me to what makes me happy now...the outdoors, being active, and being on the water.

Chevron Houston Marathon 1/15/2017
Travis, me, and Saleem

Family, friends, running and the outdoors keep me grounded, and my new found love of SUP has taken it to the next level of ulimate bliss. Pura vida...live for it! So much ahead along with awaited adventures on Clari's Pura Vida. Stay tuned for more!

Much love, peace, and of course...pura vida,

Clarissa and Kona June

~Always in our heart Cassie Mae~
Co-survivor and cancer survior