Monday, October 16, 2017

Synchronicity

It's been about a month since we completed the FW Lake Tahoe challenge, and now I am preparing for The Flatwater Foundation NYC Marathon. I've taken some time to reflect since our paddle, so here it goes!

I believe life events and good deeds come around in full circle. The past years have proven that even in the most heart wrenching and painful times, I survived to eventually find a new found purpose. With the help of therapy, mindfulness, and meditation, I am able to actively live life with a sense of purpose, adventure, and one in which gives me opportunities to be surrounded by my loved ones! In a sense, I am following my soul path. 




When it comes to healing, I also thrive on the support from loved ones along with the generosity of others, and the stories that are shared with me. For example, Tyler's Dam That Cancer along with connecting with Flatwater, connected me with a new sense of purpose along with new friendships. The event creates an opportunity for many to get on the water and tackle a 21 mile personal journey. Each one of us on the water has been impacted by cancer.Whether it is throughout training or on the day of the event, you come off the water with a rejuvenated soul. I don't know how else to explain it. The experience changes you. For this year's event, I developed new friendships, and I finally got the opportunity to thank one awesome gal, Sarah Scott, for the kindness she showed me when I was super nervous at last year's TDC's safety meeting. To be reunited meant so much, and I was so inspired by her energy and personal story about why she paddles. After Tyler's Dam That Cancer, it was time to go full throttle for Lake Tahoe. 

Many friends, family, and The Coastal Bend Community, an area I grew up, helped me raise the most money I've ever raised for the foundation. It was hard work, but committing to Tahoe and NYC meant committing to helping others "find their flatwater." Every time someones asks how Lake Tahoe went. . . I usually respond with 'incredible,' 'unreal,' and a healing I didn't know I still needed. 

There was something to be said about waking up SUPER early, sharing all meals with your paddling crew, and getting on the water in frigid temps. We had our team debrief with the amazing Jay Wild, and then we were off. We spent 5-6 hours on the water, and within those hours, we were welcomed with breath taking sunrises that hit the mountains, blue skies, and altogether just the best views imaginable . . .on a SUP board paddling the deep blue and turquoise waters of Lake Tahoe. Sometimes the water was choppy with swells or wakes from various directions, but when we paddled into Emerald Bay, we finally got to paddle on what looked like glass water. The reflections of the mountains and Emerald Island on the water...wow! I felt like I was in a story book...magical!

I gained a new extended family, and I can't imagine not having each one of them in my life. Our shared experience is one in which we will carry for a life time. I am came off the water a different person everyday. I grew in ways I did not anticipate. I left Tahoe feeling homesick from the family I spent a week with, yet it felt as though I had known them all my life. 



I stopped to reflect on the profound impact Lake Tahoe had on me mentally and physically. Since I've been in remission, I went on some small trips and celebrated my 'rebirth' in various ways, but I was missing 'something' to celebrate overcoming cancer along with the pain and moments of celebration I've experienced over the years. I also just needed to find that girl I've been looking for.

It was this moment I had a flashback to the emotional pain that hurt so bad it made me numb. I needed help, and when I learned about The Flatwater Foundation, I was overcome with hope and relief! Ironically, the healing I needed to sooth some of those wounds and celebrate life after cancer happened to be with The Flatwater Foundation and The Lake Tahoe Challenge. Talk about full circle... Yeah, so that girl who still needed some pieces put back together, well I found them. I found them on the waters of Lake Tahoe. 

Sometimes life is confusing, hurtful, scary, and just plain hard, and even with the support of loved ones, in the end it is still YOU. The "you" that must find the strength and courage to face whatever it is you need to face and overcome it. 

It is through these challenges we find a means to heal to discover what truly matters. I've accepted there may be these dark and hidden pockets of hurt inside me, but I've learned that as long as I follow my "soul path," I will find a means to heal. It's a new found purpose....maybe it's  "synchronicity," maybe it's both. Here's to "synchronicity," and finding my "flatwater."

Peace, love, y pura vida,

Clari